Got Inspiration?

My dad told me that I need to start adding pictures.  This is a lot for me to handle considering that, as you know, technology is not one of my strong suits.  But seeing that the background of my blog is purple stripes, maybe I should put some effort into it.  We will see.

I've been thinking a lot about inspiration recently.  And desperately needing some.  Trying to remember the reasons why I made this big change and why I want to spend the next four years of my life in school (not to mention residency.  Ahhhh...how old am I again?).  I guess inspiration isn't really something that you can force upon yourself, but I've been trying nonetheless.  Today is my first day back.  I woke up early (and when I say woke up, I mean that I got up, because sleeping isn't something that I have indulged in for many, many days), went running, and dove into Biology.  I have no idea why Biology is my worst MCAT subject.  I find the material fascinating.  Physics was the bane of my existence last year, but I shockingly score the highest on that section.  It's just like gymnastics - the balance beam used to scare the bejeepers out of me while I could do flip after flip on the floor.  But during competition my scores always soared on the event that agitated me the most.

Okay, so no, Dandy is not the reason why I want to go to medical school.  But he definitely motivates me.  My mother and him are my biggest fans.  I will say that I am not necessarily proud of being 30 years old and living at home while I study to the take the MCAT for a second time.  But Dandy makes it a little better.

Wow.  Another picture.  I might actually be getting into this.

During my first year of post bac I decided to donate one of my kidneys.  Maybe I'll tell more of that story later (like why I think the whole experience is going to make me a much better physician) but for now, I want to talk about inspiration.  I haven't really used names in my writing yet, but I donated my kidney to Kevin.  I'm sure that he won't be mad at me for saying that.  I remember that I was in the middle of midterms (it might have actually been a Biology midterm) when I got an e-mail describing Kevin's diagnosis.  My heart literally skipped a beat when I realized that maybe there was something that I could do.  No, I hadn't ever met Kevin before, but this was an opportunity of a lifetime.  Why wouldn't I want to help?  I have O neg blood, and am pretty darn healthy.  At that moment, I realized that I had the potential to save another person's life.  How many people can actually say that?  This is the reason why I want to become a doctor.  What makes me happy is helping - significantly contributing.  It is what I want to do forever.  And while I understand that I don't have any more kidneys to give, I can train myself and my brain to assist in other ways - being the one making a difference with the skills that I will acquire.

My kidney donation made me realize that there is more to this process than just "schooling."  Yes, exams were stressing me out when I heard about Kevin. But I instantaneously was reminded that becoming a doctor is more than Biology and Chemistry.  It is deeper than getting A's on midterms and being the best in my class.  It involves other people.  Other lives.  Human lives.  Kevin was and is my bigger picture.  He is one of my many inspirations.

(The picture above was taken during our one year anniversary celebration.  Yay!  ONE YEAR!).