I'm back! I have not updated my blog in so so long. This is not surprising as I fully and completely dedicated myself to MCAT studying for six weeks. Not even joking a little bit. My schedule was: Wake up. Change from pajamas into sweat pants. Take a practice test (yes, in total I have taken every possible practice test available to me – I’m not sure what this amounts to…maybe 45. And some I have repeated two and three times. These aren’t just 70 minute section tests; I’m talking about the whole five hour experience). Eat lunch. Review my practice test. Run or take my favorite dog on a walk. Do practice problems. Dinner/see friends. Review Notes. Sleep. Repeat.
About six weeks ago, my dad said something along the lines of – Meghan – I have no doubt that you are going to get your MCAT score. But I’m not surprised that you didn’t do it the first time. (Thanks a lot Dad). See. Things just take me longer. Example number one: my mother kept copies of my STARR exams from elementary school and I maybe scored in the 5th percentile…maybe. Example number two: I went to “pre-primer” – a made up grade in between kindergarten and first grade to give “smaller” kids with “later” birthdays an extra year to grow and mature. Example number three: I failed my drivers test the first time around (okay – so I did take it in Tahoe on a stick shift which I had learned to drive literally days before the exam. Also, the car was a 1975 Audi Fox. I am positive that the examiner was completely embarrassed to be seen with me in that automobile and took her humiliation out on my score. I will also say that my parents continue to drive the Fox in Tahoe and I could not be prouder to be seen in that ride. Every person that we pass stares like we are the craziest family in the universe. More like best family EVER. Plus, it’s an antique. No more smog checks required. Um – that is pretty awesome. Anyways). Example number four: I received a letter about a month into my freshman year at CAL telling me that I was endanger of failing two of my classes. Not because I wasn’t trying. But because I just did NOT get it. College was hard. Surrounded by geniuses. Not receiving points for creativity and pretty binders. It was a struggle. Example number five: the first time I took Chemistry at Berkeley I promised my GSI I would never attempt a science class again. I completely gave up my medical pursuit because moles, stoichiometry, and thermodynamics were a foreign language. You couldn’t teach me that stuff if my life depended on it. Example number six: Have I mentioned that I am a 31 year old unmarried woman?
That said, I am not a complete idiot. Things might not come naturally to me. But I am a hard worker. Maybe the hardest worker you know. I make things happen. About a week into my second round of studying, my friend Lauren shared this commencement speech with me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdvXCKFNqTY
It's kind of long, so don't worry. I'm not offended if you didn't just watch that. Basically, it's about putting yourself in a position to make decisions. After I got my MCAT score I really didn't know what to do. Go back to Morgan Stanley? Give up on medicine? Think more about a "time-line"? Consider a serious significant other...dare I say a family? I wasn't sure. But then I realized that by taking the MCAT again I was giving myself the opportunity to decide. I didn't have to decide then...during all of the chaos. I could decide later. After I got my score and had some time to think. Why make premature decisions (like having babies) when you aren't even in a relationship? Now at least I have put myself in an empowering position to decide when the time comes.
So. I took the MCAT again! It was a little over two weeks ago. And I actually felt great. No - I'm not confident in my score. But I did feel like I had really improved. And I felt like if I had to take the test again, I'm just going to keep on getting better. After all, second chances are my specialty.
YAAAAAY! crossing my fingers for the score!
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